What happens when you have a Drew Peterson in your family?

I have written on here often about some details of my family.  Not a lot , some.

But I have mentioned my sister is an attorney and my brother in law a special agent with the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation.

Things have gotten kind of turned up side down on our family in the last few weeks.  My brother was in a very serious car accident and spent weeks at the U.W. Madison.   My sister was in a car accident the same night as my brother.  Her accident was within an hour of his.   Hundreds of miles a part and they both are in traffic accidents within an hour of each other.

My sister hit a cement barrier and totaled her vehicle.  She was very fortunate she had very few injuries.  But the police who spoke with my mom said she was ” suicidal” and was being kept for observation.

Why would the police call my mom and not her husband you might ask?    I did .   I was shocked and very saddened by the answer.

Her husband,  this cop he has always acted at though he was so much better than every one else.    Who always tried to make us believe he was above it all.   This so-called cop has been abusing my sister in different ways for years and it had escalated in recent months.

She has the pictures that shows the marks and bruises.    We all knew he was a control freak.   But my sister never said a word.    She lived with the things he has said and done to her .

My sister who I had never saw being a door mat for anyone , had been her husbands for years.

I think I cried more for her , so sad for her.  Then I did for my brother who had been in a vehicle accident and Med-Flighted.    Because I knew my brother would be o.k.  . Some very serious injuries but he would heal.    He has a long road ahead of him but he will heal.

I asked my sister  ” WHY did you not call the police? ”     She called the police once and the officer called her a ” fxxxing bxtch” .     Even though she could show them pictures.    Because my brother-in-law is in law enforcement  they protected him.

I asked my sister ” Why did you not report the officer for calling you a fxxx Bxtch ”   that is not o.k.      She  got hysterical on me , and it was so very clear how scared she is.

Since this accident.  She has filed for divorce.    Her husband after months of refusing to leave and threatening her did move out.

She has changed the locks on the doors.    She had the security codes changed on the alarm system they have.    I wonder what my brother-in-law thinks of the main purpose of the alarm system is now to keep him out of the house.

She has changed her life insurance policy so her kids are listed as the beneficiary’s, not her husband.

We have since learned he would follow her,   he had her followed, and he would go through her cell phones and check to see what she was doing on the computer.

I have had such a hard time understanding how my beautiful , very smart, kind sister could get her self into a relationship so toxic?      I now know it escalated.   IT was little things at first.

She felt guilty.    He told her she caused the problems,  it was her fault.

It just got out of hand and she just tried to get through each day.    She was embarrassed by the situation   She never thought   she would be in this situation.     She has handled divorce cases in the past that involved domestic violence.   It was not supposed to happen to her.

It goes to show domestic violence happens at all economic levels and educational levels.     That even the brightest women can be victims of domestic violence.

I talked with my sister a couple days ago and she is already starting to get some of her spunk back.   My brother-in-law is not allowed on any part of her property.    When he calls and starts yelling at her she hangs up on him.    When the kids go to my brother in-laws the pick up and drop off is done in a public place or by a family friend.  We talked for quite a long time and at one point she asked me ” Why are you crying? ” .    I told her I could not even begin to explain how sad I am that she did not tell us.

I realize she told some co-workers.   They had encouraged numerous times to report him.   They saw the bruises and marks.   But they also saw how scared she was.

I asked her why she did not tell us.  She said  ” Well xxxx has told me how stupid I am and how everything was my fault ,  I believed him.”     My sister who is so smart, and educated believed him.     It just made me cry more.    I am so sad she went through this for the most part alone.    That when she called the police for help ,  they blamed her.

What fueled my brother in laws rage most of the time?   MONEY.    Even though she makes twice as much as he does , he thought she should be making more.   They have always had new vehicles,   brand new huge house,   private schools for the kids.    YET  no matter what she made her husband never thought she made enough.    Even though she makes twice as much as he does.


She is on the way back to taking back her life.    I have no doubt that she will once again become the strong, self-confident woman she had been.

She like my brother is healing and they both have long roads a head of them,  but they will do it.


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